To Be a Boss or A Friend? | Mobilink Careers Blog

It happens more often than not that a manager finds themselves juggling between completing their work while maintain good relations with the people above, below and around them. Any boss who follows this line of thinking will not make a good manager. If the manager?s primary concern is to maintain good relations simply for the sake of avoiding conflict and seeming nice, then it is clear that in the long term, the manager will not prosper. These people will not be capable of tough but important decisions or accurately judge the performance of their employees.

One of the common mistakes that most managers tend to make while working, is that they think that by being ?friends? with their employees will help them avoid conflict situations in the work force and influence them. Managers should not be people pleasers, they need to be role models and at times be tough.

Employees may be ?friendly? with their boss, but it does not negate the professionalism or limits of one?s position.? The relationship between a boss and his/her employee comes with a boundary which does not exist between two friends.

There are a number of reasons why managers should focus on being the boss instead of a friend to their employees. These include the following

1. If people see a manager being friends with an employee, it creates the impression of favoritism in the office. People will always assume that there is some level of favoritism going on, even if the boss is being fair and just.
2. It also creates the chance of other employees letting the ?friends? get away with certain bad behaviors under the impression that they are under the boss?s protection.
3. An additional problem that arises when the manager gets emotionally attached with certain employees is that the boss will find their decisions to be tainted by their emotions. Their attachment will consciously or unconsciously wind up affecting the decisions being made by the boss in regards with increments, layoffs, project assignments etc.
4. This emotional attachment further winds up affecting the boss?s expectations from the subordinate. They will expect their ?friend? to act in a certain way which may be inappropriate for an employee.
5. This also works the other way around where the employees will try to get their ?friend? to share confidential information or accord them favors in the name of the friendship which may wind up compromising the company.
6. Because managers are expected to evaluate their subordinates, offer them constructive feedback, discipline them when needed and perhaps even fire employees, this makes the friendship relationship between both parties impossible.

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The boss is supposed to be a role-model for his subordinates and not their ?friend?. This does not mean that bosses should not socialize or interact with their employees. They should socialize to a certain extent (without being too intrusive , judgmental or interfering), and with everyone present and make sure to leave early instead of being the last to leave.

The problem in this scenario is that being a friend and being a boss at the same time is just not possible, no matter how hard a person may try. It is far too easy to make mistakes in the manager-subordinate relationship because of its very nature. But the manager has to establish and nourish relationships not for the sake of being liked. Their relationships with subordinates have to clearly defined and with set boundaries that cannot be crossed.

They should show that they care for all their employees. Managers can learn about their subordinates? motivations, their family, interests and goals in life. The employees respond positively to such general inquiries. They should listen to their subordinates when they talk of their private lives and open up a little in return as well.

Genuine interest is welcomed by employees. But both parties need to maintain a certain level of professional distance during their conversations. Such behavior can help create a pleasant work environment with a lesser danger of falling into the trap of being more of a friend instead of a boss. It is undoubtedly difficult to find the right balance, but once achieved, it promotes a healthy work environment.

Jawad Ali is currently working as Specialist Staffing & Compensation at Mobilink GSM. He has more than five years of progressive HR experience including but not limited to compensation, outsourcing, recruitment & selection and HR Project Management. Jawad also happens to be a teacher of HR courses at top tier universities. He holds a Master?s degree in HR from International Islamic University Islamabad, is a certified recruitment analyst from Cartlon Advance Management Institute USA and a certified assessor from SHL international. Jawad is an avid hiker and a horseback rider.

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